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“gay”️️️ “good “hey “hot “how “huh “i “i’ll “look “man “meow” “ok “perfect” “shit “sir “talk “this “up “what “why “you’re ”fuck ↓ ╚═███═╝ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ あなたは私のことを何と言ったの？私がネイビーシールズでクラスのトップを卒業したことを知ってもらいます。アルクエダで数々の秘密の襲撃に関与しており、300人以上の殺害が確認されています。私はゴリラ戦の訓練を受けており、全米軍の中で最高の狙撃兵です。あなたは私には何の役にも立たず、ただの別のターゲットです。この地球上でこれまで見られなかったような正確さで性交を一掃します、私のクソ言葉をマークします。あなたはインターネットで私にそのたわごとを言うことで逃げることができると思いますか？もう一度考えて、ファッカー。私たちが話している間、私はアメリカ中のスパイの秘密のネットワークに連絡しており、あなたのipは現在追跡されているので、嵐、うじ虫の準備をよりよくすることができます。あなたが人生と呼ぶ哀れな小さなことを一掃する嵐。お前は死んだぞ私はどこにでも、いつでもいることができ、700以上の方法であなたを殺すことができます。それは私の素手だけです。私は非武装戦闘で広範囲に訓練されているだけでなく、私は米国海兵隊の兵器全体にアクセスでき、大陸の顔からあなたの惨めなお尻を拭き取るためにそれを最大限に使用します、あなたはちょっとくそ。もしあなただけが、あなたの小さな「賢い」コメントがあなたに降りかけようとしている不誠実な報復が何であるかを知ることができたなら、たぶんあなたはあなたのクソ舌を握っていただろう。しかし、あなたはできなかったし、そうしなかったし、今やあなたは代価を払っているのだ。私はあなたのいたるところに激怒し、あなたはそれに溺れます。お前は死んだぞ、キッド️️ ️ ️although ️ ️️ ️️️ ️⃣ ️️ ️️️ � 𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓽 𝓾𝓹
Margaret and William
Margaret and her husband William were last seen at their residence in the 3000 block of Piedmont Drive in El Paso, Texas on March 5, 1957. A neighbor came to their home to offer them some Girl Scout cookies and stated Margaret appeared to be very upset and William seemed unhappy that the visitor had come over.
That night neighbors noticed "unusual activity" at their home. They apparently left home during the night or possibly early the next morning, leaving their home in disarray with last night's dinner dishes unwashed in the sink and clothing lying out on a bed.
The Pattersons left without disconnecting their utilities, instructing the post office to stop or reroute their mail, stopping their newspaper delivery, storing their fur coats, or boarding their pet cat, whom Margaret cherished. The cat wandered away after its owners vanished and was missing for more than four months before it reappeared at their home, malnourished and filthy.
On March 15, the Pattersons' accountant, Herbert Roth, got a telegram with instructions on how to manage the couple's assets and their business. The telegram was called in to a Western Union office in Dallas from a pay phone near the Love Field Airport. It was signed "W.H. Patterson"; William's initials were "W.D. Patterson."
William ran Patterson Photo Supply, a photography supply store in downtown El Paso. He also had an interest in a high-end boat company, property in the city of Guaymas in the northern Mexican state of Sonora, a boat in his garage, and a Cadillac, in addition to his house.
Roth was told to cancel the hotel reservations the couple had made in Washington D.C. (they had planned to attend a National Photographer's Association there later that spring), rent out the Pattersons' home for nine months, sell a mobile home they owned and use the proceeds to support the store, and hire Doyle Kirkland to manage the store.
Kirkland owned a rival business in El Paso, Duffy Photo Service. He also William's friend and he was the last person to visit their house before the couple vanished.
William was having an affair with 20-year-old Estefana Arroyo Marfin at the time of his disappearance; she lived in Juarez, Mexico. Marfin said she saw him in the early morning hours of March 6, the day after he was last seen in El Paso, and he told her he had some important things to tell her and that "when they come for me, I'll have to go in a hurry." She later recanted her statement.
Business associates of the couple told authorities that William and Margaret left for an extended vacation to Florida and later sent word that they wouldn't be returning. A friend reported them missing on August 15, five months after they were last seen.
None of the Pattersons' friends and acquaintances could identify any of Margaret's relatives or anything else about her background. Her six siblings, who all lived in the midwest, were eventually located after her disappearance.
Margaret had been raised on a farm near Owensboro, Kentucky, left home at a young age, and at one point worked as a hostess at the Hotel Vendome in Evansville, Indiana. After her marriage to William she cut herself off from her family, who disapproved of him, and by 1957 they hadn't heard from her in over twenty years and assumed she was dead.
The Pattersons' lawyer got a letter after they disappeared, dated May 29, 1957, postmarked Laredo, Texas with no return address. The letter said William and Margaret were leaving the country and would not be returning, and gave instructions on how William wanted his business and other property disposed of.
It was all left to non-relatives, which was surprising, as William's father and sister were still living at the time and they would be the logical heirs. William left one-quarter shares of his business each to Herbert Roth, Doyle Kirkland, and a 24-year-old employee, Arthur Moreno.
The remaining quarter of the business was to be divided among William's other employees. Moreno was to be given the Pattersons' house and furniture, and Kirkland got their vacation cabin, tools, boats and William's Cadillac.
The letter was typewritten and the handwritten signature read "W.D. Patterson." Handwriting experts compared the signature with known samples of William's writing and although it was similar, they found several "discrepancies" and said they couldn't be sure whether he'd signed the letter.
The document, in any case, had no value as a will because Margaret, who co-owned William's business, had not signed it and William's signature had not been witnessed.
An inquest was convened to investigate their disappearances, but it couldn't come to any conclusion. One witnesses testified at the inquest that he'd lied to friends and said he'd been in touch with William in June 1957; he said he'd done that because William asked him, if he were to ever disappear, to make it sound like he was all right and would return soon.
Kirkland claimed he'd been awakened in the middle of the night of March 5/6 by a call from someone claiming to be William, who said he and Margaret were going away for awhile, but he admitted he'd been so sleepy when he answered the phone that he couldn't be sure that the voice was really William's. The Pattersons' lawyer testified about the letter he'd gotten.
After the couple's disappearances, William's father stated his son "made his living doing sleight-of-hand tricks" and had "taken off" before. He claimed he had expected the couple to disappear and thought they were alive. However, after several years passed without his hearing from his son or daughter-in-law, he changed his mind and said he thought William was dead.
There were numerous sightings of Margaret and William in both Mexico and the United States, but none were confirmed.
In 1984, the case was reopened after a witness came forward and said he'd been hired to clean the Pattersons' home after they went missing and found blood around and underneath the water heater in the garage and a piece of human scalp stuck in the propeller of William's boat. He said he also saw one of the Pattersons' associates take bloodstained sheets out of the home and put them in the trunk of a car.
The witness said he didn't come forward sooner because he was an undocumented immigrant and didn't want to come to the attention of the authorities. He died in a car accident two years after giving his statement to police, but what he said is still on file. His account has not been confirmed.
William and Margaret were declared legally dead in 1964, but their case was never closed. After their disappearances, it was rumored that the Pattersons' Piedmont Drive residence was haunted. Their disappearances remain unsolved.
Text from Charley Project El Paso Times
In early December 2019 I was 249 lbs.. I began my journey of Keto and fasting while totally changing my lifestyle... I stopped drinking alcohol, cut out all sugar, including Splenda ect. I cut out all fast foods, processed foods, drink water, black coffee. The only carbs I take in what I’m getting from veggies.
The fasting schedule has been basically 20/4 , while trying to eat earlier in the day- eating OMAD and sometimes two meals a day. Once a week I would fast for 28-42 hours (water only).
During this time, I have monitored my health with my Primary Care Physician (Blood Work- panels ) My total cholesterol has dropped from 220 to 180. Improved fasting blood sugar levels, my triglycerides went from 260 to 88 (cutting alcohol consumption prob contributed to this as well).
I workout 5-6 times a week, HIIT cardio (20-30 min) 3 times a week, weight training 3-4 times a week. I’m currently 201 lbs and feel amazing.
I check my ketones (blood test) , currently i dip in and out of ketosis (.5 - 1.8 millimolars)
It’s been three months, I have “fallen off the wagon” multiple times. I have a weakness for sweets.... I have noticed now when that happens (if we go out to eat Mexican food, or I eat a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies)the next morning... I’m not gaining much weight if any, (which I understand is water- due to increasing blood sugar levels, sodium) but in the past after eating “off diet” I’d gain 5lbs if water and hold it for a week.....
Have I reset my metabolism? Is body becoming more efficient “duel fuel ability” meaning my body can burn fat and sugars? Something has changed, I’m not complaining at all..... just would like to understand from a physiological aspect....
I appreciate any help!
Hello! This would be my first exchange so I need help but I’m very excited to spread the Texas sweetness! I love chocolate and savory snacks but I am a vegetarian so I don’t eat any gelatin or beef/poultry but milk/eggs is ok. I love milk chocolate and anything really.
My dude is getting rid of his stash and throwin me a whole oz for $70. I've never bought this much before so not sure how good of a deal that is. Anyone have reference?
Edit: I should've prefaced - this ain't mids or shit Mexican weed either. It's called Girl Scout Cookies
Pulling into the driveway felt like the first drag of a spliff after a tiring day. It’s one of those moments where you switch realms. It was a transition from a mundane upper-class neighborhood into a pristine lakefront oasis, and it never ever got old.
“You got here fast,” Sully said as the car door opened. Nick, still disoriented from the view and the non-stop two-hour drive, emerged to greet him. The driveway wrapped around the side of the house, with Lake Butler about 50 feet from where the driveway ended, next to the beach volleyball court; Sully was staying in the guest house, which opened onto the driveway and a quaint picnic bench/sun umbrella setup, which they had stolen from a pizza shop years ago. It was one of those places where you stay once and never really want to leave, which was what Sully had been doing since graduation, and Nick couldn’t blame him. He had no real occupation to speak of, but here he was king of his own realm — natural lakefront view, 60-inch TV, proximity to a mid-size city, and of course a boat. It was paradise by anyone’s standards, and he was just lucky enough to have a blood relation to the owner.
“Well, that’s what happens when you do 85 the whole way.” Nick dribbles out, stretching in hopes of shaking off last night’s episode. The hangover, combined with the confinement of the ride, had him grasping at singular thoughts.
“Well, I’m glad you called this morning. I needed an excuse to party. I just got an oil shipment from Colorado, and I need to whoop your ass in FIFA again. Not to mention this Tinder chick wants to hang tonight, and she said she could bring a friend,” He lingered on the last word, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
Nick fiddled with the coin in his pocket and rebutted “Whoa whoa whoa. First of all, I torched you in FIFA last time I was here. You just can’t accept that. And second, that’s always the famous last words before we go out. ‘Oh yeah bro, she’s bringing a friend and she said she’s so hot’ and then flash forward to 11 pm, when it turns out her friend is a sophomore at Valencia State College, who’s trying to focus on her social media presence, has ‘the cutest’ Pomeranian, and is 20lbs heavier than her Facebook pics.’”
“…….so you don’t wanna go?”
Nick paused for a second, then shrug apathetically, “I mean, no. I’m down for whatever. Just saying. Alternatively, if we’re going near Lake Eola, Victoria and her rave friends will most likely be around, so that’s always Plan B.”
They head inside, and Sully brings out the hash oil at his desk. He ignites the souffle torch and begins heating the bowl of his Winnie the Pooh bong. The whole scene resembled the office of a Mexican cartel’s lawyer, Nick thought; loose papers neatly strewn across the surface, with a special compartment below for the illicit articles. Nick portioned off the tiniest piece of wax onto the dabber, as he knew well the potency of the oil Sully liked to smoke. But resistance was futile because as the flowing, transparent yellow wax melted onto the glass, and he inhaled, his mind and any semblance of a care melted with it.
After multiple games of FIFA and Super Smash Bros, Nick needed a change of scenery from Sully’s surprisingly dark guest house, so they changed into boardshorts and headed out on the lake with the paddleboards. It was a perfectly clear day, the type where a cloud would not dare defile such a virgin sky. The wind was light but constant, blowing parallel down the shore, but that didn’t matter; they were stoned on the beauty of the landscape, and all they wanted to do was catch up on each other’s lives.
“So, what’s the plan now? I mean, you’re living large in George’s guest house, but what’s next?” Nick asked, not really probing for an answer, but trying to reconnect with the person he’d shared a bathroom with for three years.
“I don’t know. I don’t wanna get a bullshit job in insurance or something like that. I’d just get bored and end up loathing everyone in the office, one-by-one systematically, until I blackout at the Christmas Party and try fighting some the office manager’s husband.”
“I mean, that’s basically the American dream” Nick added sarcastically
“I was thinking I might go to law school, considering I know the law so well with my multiple run-ins,” Sully continued. He had been carefully taking out a cigarette and lighter from a plastic sandwich bag that also held his phone, taking every precaution balancing over the water, but still smoothly executing the maneuver; he did it with the practiced ease of a longtime smoker and frequent wakeboarder, the perfect balance of aplomb and cravenness. “I could see that, and I’ve heard that you can have up to three DUI’s and still get accepted to the bar.”
“Yeah, that’s one reason I’m looking at it, but my GPA from FSU sucks, so I think I’m gonna take private-eye classes and work in that industry for a minute to fill up on my resume with relevant experience.”
“Really? Like a Private Investigator? Do a fedora and trench coat come with the class, or is that sold separately?”
“Ok, but like, I need something to do, and I’ve always been pretty good at investigating people, so I thought, why not?”
In truth, he had. One of Sully’s notable skills was stalking social media and piecing together true but farfetched theories about disloyalty to argue with his girlfriends. It was a common trait from children of divorce and made relationships difficult. Nick related to this and tended to overlook his complex attitude towards women, as it never really affected their friendship in any way, and it made good conversation after the fact.
Drifting idly, the hash oil had erased any perception of time and space. They laid on their boards under the dry spring sun and floated down the lake with the wind, letting the ease of the day wash over them. After what seemed like hours, Nick was jolted awake when he rolled over and saw they were about to be blown into a dock. They stood up and tried to paddle against the wind back to the middle of the lake, but were effortlessly pushed back toward the shore. Eventually, they began paddling along the shoreline, just outside the end of each dock, using them as cover from the violent wind whenever possible. This went for about 20 docks — Nick still had no concept of time — until Sully shouted that they could take a break at his neighborhood’s public dock up ahead. They rounded the final dock, and maneuvered onto the shore, beaching their paddleboards and jumping off to catch their breath. Nick went about securing his paddle to the board and going for a drink of coconut water in the small cooler in tow, casually asking Sully for details about the rest of the journey and their whereabouts. He shot back curt answers, and when Nick turned to ply him for more information, he observed Sully was talking with a girl that had been standing onshore the whole time — Nick was utterly unaware of her presence while they “made landfall,” but once he caught sight of her… holy shit.
She was immaculate. Nick had run into many beautiful girls during his time at FSU, and most were attractive, wearing makeup and outfits that made them look gorgeous, but once those layers had been shed, they were merely pretty. This girl, on the other hand, was absolutely stunning; while only wearing a workout outfit including yoga pants and a semi-loose fitting t-shirt, she looked like a goddess. Her flowing golden blonde hair hung down to the middle of her back, and was pulled up in a meticulous ponytail, utterly smooth without a single hair misplaced; its gossamer mass swished with her level of excitement in the conversation. Her face was sunkissed and vibrant, just as anyone under the age of 25 looks in Florida, but her body was what shook Nick. She was petite yet muscular; her toned lower abs produced a contour through the yoga pants – something Nick thought could only be conjured in Photoshop, and not in the physical world. She was immaculate, but he paid no attention.
“This is my friend Nick,” Sully said, gesturing to him as he drank the coconut water he had bought at a Fort Pierce gas station earlier. Nick surmised that it had been at least two hours since they smoked, and he still hadn’t come down. So he did what he always does when he was uncomfortably stoned in social situations: stayed mostly silent.
“Nice to meet you,” Nick said, unsure how to proceed any further. Still in a fog, Nick also noticed that she was not alone, as a little girl around the age of 7 and a dog with a curly blonde coat were splashing along the shore — some sort of golden lab-poodle mix, Nick was sure of it.
Sully continued to chat, and Nick began to infer they were neighbors and had met once or twice before. While they talked, Nick paid little attention, mainly watching the child play with her dog, and as the coconut water lost its refreshing appeal in the warmth of the day, he switched to cold beer. Nick stood there drinking, and couldn’t help but feel a warm sense of joy fill his stomach as he watched this admittedly adorable little girl playing with her happy-go-lucky dog while their beautiful 20-something babysitter watched over them. Nick thought he was watching a Hallmark TV movie, but really, he was just violently high.
Suddenly, the little girl marched up to him, while Sully and her babysitter were engaged in light but entranced conversation, and declared with authority, “Do you want to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?”
“Uhm, let me think…. Of course. I would like two boxes of thin mints, but I don’t have any money with me.” Nick said, trying but failing to match her level of cuteness.
“Oh yeah, her Girl Scout troop is having their cookie sales, and the competition is fierce.” The babysitter said, “We can just drop off the cookies at your house after we leave, and you guys can just pay later.”
They both politely declined in unison, but she insisted, and since it was Girl Scout Cookies, and they were stoned, they quickly gave in. A few minutes later, the little girl sneakily climbed on the beached paddleboard and was pretending to ride, using her arms to “balance.” Nick leaned over from his beer and whispered, “You want to take it out?”
The little girl nodded emphatically, and without the babysitter noticing, gently pushed the paddleboard off the beach. She then shot a look at the babysitter, and then back at Nick, showing a wry smile and letting out a hushed giggle. The warm joy in Nick’s stomach began to grow as she repeated this process, maneuvering zigzag into the water, and out to the middle of the alcove.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” the babysitter said, laughing casually when she saw the little girl kneeling on the paddleboard in the water. The dog had been barking excitedly at the little girl, clearly wanting a turn. After one lap to the middle of the dock, the little girl went back to shore, where the dog jumped on, and they floated about the water, detailing the perfect picture of what a full life would look like. This movie had a great writing staff, Nick thought to himself.
Eventually, he woke from this blissful daze and realized they had been standing on that shore for the better part of 30 minutes — he was finally coming down. He looked at Sully, and the girl talking with each other and had a feeling this was no longer a neighborly conversation. There was something more here, and after spending years observing Sully, Nick knew this was going to lead to an exciting conclusion.
“So, you live nearby?” Nick said, trying to get his facts straight.
“Yeah, I live like 10 houses down from here, in the brown one opposite the lakefront houses,” She said, her velvet ponytail bobbing as she spoke. “I’m living with my parents, but they’re actually in Aspen right now.”
“She lives like catty-cornered from me,” Sully clarified, trying to give me a frame of reference, as well as conveying that any late-night hangout would be very convenient.
“Yeah, it’s pretty boring. I’ve been cooped up inside all week watching these two. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and all, but I need a break.” Nick got hung up on her being cooped up with the little girl all week. Was it her sister? Why would she be babysitting all week?
“What are you guys doing tonight?” Her innocuous inquiry seemed to jut out into the conversation.
“We’re going downtown, probably start at Church St and then wander from there. You should come. We’re thinking of doing some dancing too”, Sully rattled off. It came to him with such ease, like Harry Potter speaking Parcil Tongue , sounding so smooth, yet sinister when out of context.
“Well funny enough, I do actually have plans to go downtown with one of my girlfriends tonight. We were gonna go to Stardust. Have you guys ever been there?” This is precisely the response Nick was expecting, and yet he was still genuinely surprised the conversation had gotten this far.
“Is that the place below World of Beer on the lake?” Nick interjected.
“Yeah, it is. Have you been?”
“I’ve never been, but a friend of mine lives right next door, above the wine bar.” Sully shot Nick a look, knowing that’s where Victoria lived.
“It’s a great place, I love it! They play disco, and 80’s pop hits, so it’s perfect for dancing, and last time we went, the owner kept giving us free shots.” She exclaimed, but still maintaining her poised cheerfulness. “If you guys are in the area, you should come by.”
“Yeah, for sure.” Sully said with calm intent, “What’s your number? I’ll text you when we finish pregaming at our buddy’s place.” They exchanged numbers, and Nick thanked God one of them had brought their phones.
She rounded up the little girl and dog, and floated up the shore and along the mulch path to the street, lofting back a “See ya later.” Once she turned the corner, Nick hazily turned to see Sully, who was wearing his signature shit-eating grin. Nick paused for a second with a puzzled look on my face, then all at once blurted out “Dude… what the FUCK just happened?!”
Sully responded simply with, “Right!”
“No, but seriously, who the fuck is she and how is she so goddamn beautiful? I know you’ve said there something in the water around here that makes girls crazy hot, but this is something different enti…” Nick trailed off, still perplexed at the events that took place. “Ok, first answer me this: is that little girl her sister, or is she like a live-in au pair? I couldn’t figure it out.”
“That’s her kid, bro,” Sully stated, emphasizing each word as he said them.
“…wait, she’s a mom?” Nick questioned, not able to deal with the information he was just given.
“Yeah, man. Apparently, she was married to the lead singer of the Muse, and they had a kid, but recently got divorced, so she moved back in with her parents here and has been like working out the divorce shit I guess. I met her a month ago when I was running the neighborhood.”
“Two things. First, you were running? Outdoors?”
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to lose some extra pounds I’ve put on since graduation.”
“Okay, fair enough. Second, what the actual fuck? You can’t be serious? So she’s essentially a single MILF that just happens to live three doors down from you.” Nick asserted, grasping for answers to this dizzying realization.
“Yeah, bro, I know. I kept going out for runs, hoping to see her, but never did until just now.” Sully confessed.
They got back on their boards and paddled back to Sully’s house, but Nick’s mind had not left that shoreline. He was reexamining the events in this new light and felt remorse and kinship. She seemed so well composed for a single mother going through a divorce, he thought. She was moving on, having the time and resources to pursue a second act in life. She had taken what she had left — her health, her child, her youth — and tried again. Maybe talking to them, who had no predispositions, is precisely what she was looking for. If he were in that situation, that moment of normalcy would be enough to sustain him for a few weeks. It was also enticing to ponder why she would want to go out with young men like themselves. He could already see the dim ending pursuing that notion would have, but nevertheless, follow it they did.
The rest of the journey was dull in comparison, as the wind had died down, and the house wasn’t that much farther. Once they arrived, they brought the boards up and were sitting at Sully’s picnic bench when he got a text.
“Left a present at the front gate :-)”
Simultaneously confused and giddy, Sully went to check it out and came back with a box of Girl Scout Cookies. They were beside themselves. “Holy shit, this is huge.” Nick bellowed. “Like, I couldn’t tell who she was hitting on between us. I’m down for a threesome if you are, only if we can hold hands, though.”
“Ok, pull back from a sec there bud. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m obviously down for anything, but let’s play out the situation first.” Sully said through the cigarette in his mouth, trying to keep his cool. “I’ll start texting her, and we can say we're gonna see where the night takes us.”
“…but in reality, we are beelining for that bar as soon as we’re sufficiently hammered, right?” “Yeah, duh.”
They watched as the sun began to dip below the horizon, sending iridescent beams of red, gold, and pink across the mirrored lake surface. It was a satisfying sunset, one that reminded Nick of sitting on the roof of their house at school, where they would watch the sinking daylight explode into the sky, capping off a successful day of doing everything and nothing. It was a feeling of blithe torpor that washes over you, which most people have to fly to Tahiti for, but Nick received for free. He thought this must be what heroin feels like.
They got ready to go out, mainly by playing a Rick and Morty drinking game while they watched an episode. Eventually, Nick wandered into the shower, and upon getting out, put on a shirt for the first time since he had arrived here. Sully did the same, and it seemed that throughout their friendship, they were beginning to dress alike — button-down shirt, jeans, and Vans sneakers — and the resemblance was striking. They kept drinking after they were dressed — some awful rum and Coke mixture Sully had created — and listened to the new Kendrick Lamar album to get excited for the night. By the time the TV read 8:00 pm, they piled into Sully’s black Ford Explorer, which had turned into more of a mobile recycling center than an actual SUV with the comical amount of empty plastic bottles, and made the 20-minute drive to Don’s house. By the time they arrived, Nick’s hash oil high from earlier in the day had transformed into a healthy buzz that had him energized, which Sully noticed.
“Oh shit, it’s time to resume regularly scheduled programming, because Nick at Night is here and ready to go.” This was the name that Sully had given Nick in college, because in his words, ‘you change into a different person when we go out… not in a bad way, just more aggressive and basically shameless’. Nick couldn’t fight him on that. Drinking always brought out a forceful side of him, as if he was about to run into a tied lacrosse game with 30 seconds left – full of adrenaline and ready for anything. But alcohol does that to everyone, so he wasn’t too worried. “Don! What’s up, shitbag?” Nick said with endearing force as he leapt out of the Explorer. “You will not believe what happened to us today… we bought Girl Scout cookies. Crazy, right? Oh yeah, and we met the hottest MILF of all time, and we’re going to meet up with her and her friend later.”
Don was their neighbor in college who was an insouciant guy like the rest of them. He had a shaved head and stout build, but very athletic; much more than Sully and Nick — the guy ran triathlons for Christ’s sake. He was standing on his stoop, smoking a cigarette when Nick walked up. Don paused for a second after hearing him, then with a look of malaise, replied, “so what you’re telling me is you guys got seduced into buying Girl Scout cookies?”
“Joke’s on her. We never paid for the cookies,” Sully shouted from the car.
They all shared a laugh and walked inside, making their way to the back, where a few of Don’s work friends were playing beer pong on the porch.
————————————— The plastic cup beaded with sweat as the hot spring night drenched all of its inhabitants. Nick fixated on the droplets, then reached for the cup from the bar, and turned to face the writhing crowd in the street. The city was alive, having some sort of festival that shut down the road to set up drink stands and speakers.
“Bro, where the fuck have you been?” Sully yelled as the humid crowd gave birth to Nick’s friend.
“I’ve been taking laps. You know I like to wander.”
“Well, you might want to wander over to Stardust because the MILF just texted me.” Nick could tell that Sully was focused because where he might typically be wearing that shit-eating grin, was now replace with a concise half-smile while he drafted a reply.
Without saying a word, Nick turned and began to walk away from the street-side bar. He walked to the end of the block and sat on an elevated planter, flipping a coin in half-time with the hip-hop playing nearby. After three minutes, Sully came down the street exasperated and said, “What are you doing?”
“Waiting on you,” Nick replied blankly. He slipped the coin back in his pocket, lingering on the triangle etched into its surface.
Sully shook his head, and the two continued bumbling down the street. After passing numerous street signs Nick couldn’t be bothered to read, they arrived at a basement bar with a small red neon sign that read “Stardust.” The dimly-lit venue was relatively empty for a Friday night, with only a handful of patrons standing at the bar, and a few people dancing near the DJ booth. Nick passed the bouncer and headed straight for the bar, ordering a vodka-tonic-lime, without so much as glancing at his surroundings. After paying for the drink, he turned around to survey the bar, and his glazed eyes illuminated at the sight of sleek golden hair glowing magnetically in the aged club spotlights. It flowed like fresh honey in synchronous with the resilient body it was attached to, moving with the precision and poise of experience. She twirled and gyrated along the dance floor, beaming while she sang along to the Bee Gees’ “Night Fever,” flaunting her youth and wanting all to witness. In his fugue state, Nick was paralyzed by her vitality, and it wasn’t until he saw Sully shimmy into his frame of view that his trance was broken, and he regained his focus. With the sheer force-of-will Nick’s stupor provided, he followed suit and bobbed his way toward the dancing group. She was with a friend who looked much more her age, though still held that same playfulness which the goddess exuded. Nick moved and swayed up to the group, after saying hello with a very European kiss on the cheek to both, focused on the friend — the die had been cast, and he was now the wingman. He stirred from side-to-side, in unison with his partner, being conscious of his own body for the first time in months. They moved together, and he eventually took her hand, spinning and twirling each other, aptly drifting through the music of an era that chased euphoria at all costs.
Time slowed around Nick as he shrugged off all of his cares once again; any responsibility or suffering that had occupied his mind was gone. The blurring lights and hypnotic music combined into a force that began to overwhelm him, and moments around him started to come in as clips, like the unused scenes for that made-for-TV movie — the knowing glances from friend to friend, the twirling of a perfect stranger, the creepy guy trying to cut in. All the moments that Nick knew would stay on the cutting room floor of his mind after tonight. Nick continued to jive and spin to the music but glanced at Sully and the goddess every so often. And as buoyant rhythms played and his head swam in a puddle of dopamine and pheromones, he could distinguish Sully moving in to kiss her, and her moving back slightly. Sully then whispered a line that she countered, but Nick could only see one word on her lips.
———————————- “NO NO NO NO NO!” Michael Scott yelled. The Office episode played loudly on the 60-inch TV. Nick opened his eyes a sliver as the daylight through the ragged bamboo shades assaulted him. The hangover had followed him to the next day, and again he was sprawled in his own disgust. He pawed for his phone on the coffee table and checked to see if he had called Kelly again, but all he found were pictures of Don completely asleep on a barstool and a text from Danny that said “Pizza at Joe’s. Come.” Nick was definitely still drunk, because his head didn’t hurt and his stomach was still full. That would all change after he inevitably vomited in an hour. As he laid there wallowing in his filth, pieces of the night began to come back to him. Before “Pizza at Joe’s,” he remembered Stardust and the gyrating body of the goddess. Nick sat up on the battered secondhand couch, peered over the bed to exchange information about the events of the night, but Sully was gone, and Nick was left there wilting, as the disinfecting sunlight burned away the deep layers of his protective shamelessness. He more remembered the rest of the night.
Nick got up slowly, unsure his dehydrated legs could hold his weight, wobbled his way to the door and opened it. The morning sun, though assaultive and blinding, cast a soft hue over the lake and the horizon; the frogs croaked, celebrating the new day, as the faint sound of a bullhorn drifted with a crew team streaking by. He eased his way into one of the Carolina chairs facing the lake, taking in the scene before his body turned on him. His mind had already given up. Nick sat there as he recalled more and more from the night before, and fell deeper and deeper into the abyss.
He recalled her saying something to Sully and twirling away as her friend followed suit, gliding across the dance floor and away from the two children in an adult’s bar. He recalled feeling a jolt of shame in the moment, but then moving robotically out of the bar and down the street, into a blackout. This was the third time in a week, and Nick didn’t know how much more he could take. He couldn’t have fun for the sake of fun anymore; there was always a motive, an underlying theme, and he couldn’t escape it. Nick thought of all the times he brought home a great report card, and after 7 seconds of congratulations, the next question would be “Ok, now what’s next? What are you going to do better next time?” Progress for the sake of progress, and never celebration of what was achieved.
Nick sat inert, starring at the coin from his pocket and moving his fingers over the words “to thine own self be true”. Just then, the black Explorer rounded the corner and parked. Emerging from the mobile recycling center was Sully, whose 1000-mile gaze made Nick feel in good company.
“Sup butt?” Sully threw at Nick, meandering to the adjacent Carolina Chair. “Chick-Fil-A?”
Nick admired the delicate pink sunrise and said, “Yeah sure. Hey, Law School’s good for you. You should do it. We’ll have the grad party at my house.” EDIT: here’s the link to the story on Medium. Any feedback would be great. This is my first time writing fiction.
[Context: I went from the low-end of obese to the high end of healthy (super skinny fat) and have been there since 2015 as an 18F 5'5" ~175-180 to ~140-145. My relationship with food is better, but still not awesome. I'm a very emotional eater. After gaining about 10 pounds since the fall and a lot of personal breakthroughs, I'm finally moving down again and working on getting fit.]
This last week has been very stressful for me. Family coming in from both sides. Wedding. Graduation. Pressure at new job. Relationship and independence changes. I ate almost an entire box of Girl Scout cookies Thursday and another on Friday. I ate so much Friday. Mexican takeout plus the leftovers in the fridge. Too much for two days. Saturday was /mostly/ okay, but still over my calories. Sunday was fucking wash, and so was Monday. You can imagine how discouraging it was :(
I'm trying to get back on track and prep my meals as relaxation time and getting my food plan back in order. I planned on making a veggie stirfry with a light almond butter sauce with soy sauce and lime juice to use up the veggies wilting in the fridge and this jar of almond butter I was gifted but never touch bc I don't really care for it.
The almond butter was super separated for sitting for so long. I stir my best for an HOUR to stir this stuff, dripping oil and almond bits everywhere, trying not to lick it and ruin another day.
I broke and rage scooped the whole effing heap into the dressing. 14 servings of almond butter. FOURTEEN SERVINGS OF NUT BUTTER.
I cry in frustration about the entire week and the shit I've eaten, knowing I've just set myself up for another week of not staying on track.
I come to, plug all the info into LoseIt! to see the damage. I just have to stretch it into 6 servings instead of 4 and I'm right on track.
It's that easy. Just 2 more servings and nothing is wrong.
I'm done treating my stomach as a garbage disposal for instant gratification. I'm done using the feeling of fullness to compensate for feeling helpless, even if I'm not obese. I'm done eating like a fat person.
I can eat the whole fucking jar of almond butter and still change for the better.
I've been on this road for 5 years and am still making major breakthroughs. Please never give up on yourself-- even if you use the whole jar of almond butter, you can get back on the right track <3
I was scrolling through Instagram last night and saw that Demi was doing a live Q&A, so I watched most of it and decided to jot down what she wrote so I could post it on here! I did the same with Tayshia as she is also doing an Instagram Q&A right now. I don't know if anyone is actually interested in this, but I think it's really cool that the girls are doing Q&As as it is a great way for us to get to know them! :)
- She never partied in high school, which she kind of regrets because it caused her to become such a heavy partier in college.
- She says that her partying negatively affected her
- She is a BIG Drag Race fan and her favorite queens are BenDeLaCreme and Milk, with Shangela being an honorable mention
- How she became so confident: She was extremely insecure about herself in high school and was always worried about other people's opinions. The minute she stopped letting other people's opinions affect her life, she became more and more confident. She says that other people's thoughts should not dictate how you live your life, and that people should always be true to themselves because they are fine the way they are
- She excelled at volleyball in high school
- She went to Texas State University
- How she stays in shape: She lets herself eat what she wants most of the time, but stresses the "everything in moderation" rule. She LOVES bacon, and she usually makes some sort of meat with vegetables for dinner. She rarely goes out to eat, and says she prefers her home-cooking because she likes knowing what ingredients are being put into her food and she knows what she does/doesn't like. She was chubby in high school and says that she always used to overeat and she also ate late at night.
- FMK: Guac, Salsa, Queso. Demi would "fuck" guac, "marry" queso, and "kill" salsa. Says there is a lot of Tex-Mex food around her and she's gotten so used to the taste of salsa
- She has a brother named Drake who is 15 months older than her. Thinks it's funny that they were named Drake and Demi considering that when they were born, the rapper Drake and Demi Lovato weren't even famous yet.
- She and her brother are very close and they see each other often
- Her mom is doing very well, they don't live near each other but Demi calls her every day
- When introducing herself to older people, she says "I'm Demi, like Demi Moore." When she introduces herself to people that are younger than her, she says "I'm Demi, like Demi Lovato"
- She doesn't think that people 27-31 are old, she just takes the term 'cougar' very literally and says that anyone who dates someone younger than them is a 'cougar', period.
- She's been a 'cougar' before lol
- She reiterated that her "I haven't dated a virgin since I was 12" line to Colton was a joke and that she did not lose her virginity until she was 18
- She delved into her haircare routine: She showed how she usually curls her hair (I didn't catch much of this sorry). She is a natural blonde but dyed her hair dark in high school and it became extremely damaged as she tried to keep it dark. She eventually just let her roots grow and dyed her hair back to blonde. Color-protecting shampoos are great and she also recommends applying an oil to your hair to improve its health. She likes getting yearly haircuts then adds that she hasn't gotten her hair cut in over a year (honestly me either haha)
- She is also a huge Harry Potter fan and personally thinks that she should be a Slytherin, but also agrees that she fits Ravenclaw the most
- She seems to be especially close to Cassie, as Cassie called/texted her repeatedly during the live and commented "sorry" after she realized she was interrupting the live (which was pretty cute haha)
- Heather's sister, Colie, was also commenting during the live and it seems that the three of them are all very close as well
- She is half African-American, half Mexican
- She almost chickened out of the bungee jump and thought that Colton was pranking her and that they would go kayaking instead. She didn't think they'd actually bungee jump up until the point that they signed the waivers.
- She didn't get whiplash after her bungee jump. It was less painful than it looked (thank God). She really thought she would die on the bungee jump and says she would have never done it on her own.
- She originally wanted to be a pediatrician, as she loves kids.
- She was initially weirded out about seeing herself on TV but is now getting used to it
- She wants to travel to Tokyo, New Zealand, and Greece
- The hardest part about being on the show was having to deal with her emotions in the moment and having to be vulnerable. She says these reasons are also why the experience was so rewarding, as it also helped her grow as a person.
- She's very close to Nicole
- Tea > coffee. She likes Earl Grey, English breakfast, and green tea, and she also tries to have a turmeric, chamomile or ginger tea before bed
- Her favorite Girl Scout cookies are Thin Mints. She especially likes putting them in the freezer
- She returned to her job and says that the return process was difficult after being on the show
- One word to describe the person she is becoming: bold
- She earned her phlebotomy license a little over a year ago
- She is constantly switching her skincare routine but says she loves sulfur soap
- Makeup favorites: Bobbi Brown or Armani foundation, Lancome Grandiose Extreme Mascara, Nars Creamy Radiant Concealer, Jeffree Star Butter Cherry Lip Gloss
- Three makeup products she can't live without: Mascara, concealer, lipgloss
- Her favorite place to shop at is Nordstrom
- She is 5'7 1/2 (she emphasizes the 1/2)
- She went on a volunteer mission in Kenya, working at a village in Embu. She loves the country and she is currently planning her next trip there
- Her favorite place to shop at is Nordstrom
- She initially felt awkward being with Colton but says the awkwardness went away after getting to know him
- She wants AT LEAST four children
- She loves The Sinner, The Haunting of Hill House (same), and Pretty Little Liars
- There was a funny moment in the mansion when a bat flew inside and she and a few of the girls named it "The Batchelor," then proceeded to scare the bat away by banging kitchen supplies and waving brooms around
Hope you guys enjoy!
Today marks a full 8 weeks on KETO! I have lost 23.8 pounds.
My period starts in 5 days, and I didn't lose any weight this week. I know it is just water weight from my period coming, but sometimes I hate being female!!
Last shark week, I didn't lose any weight for 2 weeks. The week before and the week of my period, nada. A full week after my period, I weighed and I was down 7.2 pounds. I only weigh weekly or else I get hung up on the scale.
I have found depths of strength inside myself I never knew I had. the last 2-3 weeks at work have been girl scout cookies, pizza, breaded hot wings and mexican food, and I have stayed strict KETO and turned them all down!
No one has really noticed at work yet, so that is kind of a bummer, but I wear huge hoodies and jeans every day since I get really cold. I think when warm weather comes, and I start wearing some of my spring/summer clothes, people will notice.
I went dress shopping for an awards ceremony this weekend, and I fit into a size 10 dress! It was extremely tight and uncomfortable and I didn't buy it, but hey, its something! I am wearing a size 12 jeans today, and I keep having to hike up the back so I think it is only a matter of time until a size 10 is my new normal!
The dress I ended up buying was a sequined sheath type dress and when I showed my husband he liked it, but said it looked like a "potato sack" because it was too big and he wanted me to show off my new shape a little more. That was a sweet NSV! So I guess its back to the store this week!
This board is my rock. I check it daily, although I don't post a lot, but without you ladies and your progress, I would probably have fallen off the wagon already! Keep being awesome!!
New York Super Pudge Trump: Orange ice cream, kfc extra tasty crispy skin bits, gravy swirl and chocolate small hand bits
Collusion Glädjé: Borscht ice cream, urine swirl, bits of shredded dossier paper
Ivanka Lick: Vanilla ice cream, blondie bits, matzo swirl, Trump already ate out of each container
Frosted Fake News: Doesn't really exist
Immigration I. C. E. Cream: Vanilla bean with all of the dark flecks removed
Chunky Trumpy: White chocolate ice cream with very small bananas. Only available in 320 lbs containers, but they are marked as 220 lbs.
Cookies and Dreamers: Ice milk, marshmallow swirl, only Norwegian ingredients.
Bad Hombre Mexican Grapists: Caramel ice cream with bad raisins, but some are good raisins.
Miss Universe Her-Ass-Mint: Mint ice cream, girl scout Thin Mints. Aged 14 years.
What did I miss?